In Bible times relationship rules were more concise. Couples like Adam and Eve, Isaac and Rebekah, and Boaz and Ruth simply met, agreed, and married. Today, dating does not necessarily translate to a preparation period between friendship and marriage as much as it means, “hanging out with someone [you] like or whose company you enjoy but may not necessarily marry.” The downside to extended periods of dating; baseless and even unclear dating expectations is becoming emotionally, physically, and even financially attached to someone who does not want to commit to marriage. Often, this happens to one or more person’s detriment.

Even though dating rules have changed, the adage coined by Napoleon Hill, *“Do unto others…” still applies.

Starting a relationship with the sole purpose to gain is selfish and counterproductive. A Christian’s motive should be to enter a relationship as an asset—not a liability. Christians are also required to treat a believer as a brother/sister in Christ as well as maintain a high level of respect for one another. In fact, friendship and brotherly love is encouraged as are group outings until each party is ready to commit to an exclusive relationship, which leads to marriage.

Agreeing, Dating, Relating

Despite differences in perspective, much can be learned from Biblical couples to avoid the pitfalls of dating.

 

One thing to consider is to decide—like Jacob did—what you want before pursuing a dating relationship. Knowing what you want will save a lot of time, effort, money, dashed hopes, delayed dreams, and spent feelings on the wrong person. Generally, people know what they like. The challenge is narrowing their election to one person who, for example, meets the best out of ten preferences.

 

Another thing to consider is preparation. Ruth took time to research her options to include soliciting advice from a Godly counselor. Having fun while getting to know a prospective mate is a feasible way to discover preferences, weaknesses, strengths, goals, etc.,--so is working with a prospective mate on volunteer projects. Relationship and pre-engagement classes are resourceful because they help determine potential in self and others. Such classes can also provide tools for making personal improvements.

 

Some would argue that Adam or Eve did not have a choice in selecting a mate. Even though God brought the two together, Adam and Eve did agree with the union—just like they agreed to eat from the forbidden tree. Before pursing a dating relationship, make sure that there is agreement so that intent is not misunderstood.

Many relationships begin with one person (usually the female) expecting commitment while the other person, is only looking to have a good time. When expectation is not met, disappointment sets in and problems occur. It is only fair to state your purpose at the beginning of a relationship. This will only strengthen the agreement.

Dating 2.0

While the media has a strong influence on society’s perception of relationship and dating, the standard for a Christian should remain Bible-based. Christians are encouraged to have fun and cultivate friendships so that an intimate relationship can evolve from a healthy lengthy friendship. Defining dating rules prior to starting a relationship will lessen the risks that are commonly associated with dating. Most importantly, defining dating rules will help ensure that the dating experience is reserved for someone who will not violate the rules of friendship, which is the foundation for a meaningful and lasting marriage. IE

 

 

References

Genesis Chapter 2
Genesis Chapter 24

Ruth Chapters 3 & 4

Romans 12

I John Chapter 4

 
By: Isha Edwards